Why I choose not to celebrate Valentine's Day

I am no advocate of negativity nor dourness. Yet, personally, I can only find today a day which is nothing more special than any other day. Many people will enjoy the festivities of Valentine's Day, but it isn't for me.

I cannot take away the joy, happiness and feelings of romance that Valentine's Day brings to many people, nor would I ever want to. But, despite my happy go lucky personality, today is the kind of day when my stiff upper lip and my conservative sense of being really prevails. 

I also get really worried and intrigued about the whole commercialisation of a day like today. Everywhere you go, things spring up everywhere with connotations of love, red and roses. Shops, stalls, posters - you name it - there's bound to be a mention of Valentine's Day somewhere. It's in your face, whether you approve of it or not.

Love is a 365/366 day a year thing, not just for one day in the year. I just cannot subscribe to the idea of reserving my purchase of a bunch of roses, chocolates or a card to just one day, not that I need to anyway. If love is so important to couples, then why can't this be continuously and unambiguously shown and celebrated throughout the year? 

Not that all of this bothers me anyway, because my independence remains in tact. I don't doubt for a moment that many couples live up to the magic of love, without failure. But as far as Valentine's Day is concerned, I just cannot and, dare I say it, want to live up to the hype of a day like this.

Valentine's Day is not just today. Its everyday.

Image courtesy of Pixomar / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Today marks the Feast of Saint Valentine. Celebrated in most parts of the world, history states that it began as a liturgical celebration of a Christian saint (or more than one of them) called Valentinus. A man called Geoffrey Chaucer wrote a poem called Parlement of Foules in the 14th century and his writing marked the first occasion of this day with the concept of romance and love: 

"For this was on seynt Volantynys day
Whan euery bryd comyth there to chese his make."

(Source: Parelement of Foules, 1382, written by Geoffrey Chaucer)

I passionately believe that romance is more alive than ever before. I do not accept the idea that romance is seen as an old fashioned and outdated ideology, despite what elements of the media and many others will make you believe. But that's not to say that within some groups of people, worldwide, romance has been tragically shunned in favour of pure lust, which on its own without the soothing combination with romance, is rather nauseatingly loathsome. 

An upcoming star of Irish journalism, Meghann Scully, provided a thought provoking insight last year of a night out she experienced in Galway. After I read through it, I have to honestly admit that frankly my own heart sank. 

It would be very delusional of me to dismiss that experience as a one off because I do think that a significant portion of people from my own gender need a polite yet substantial talking with when it comes to learning how to communicate with women. Her blog last year suggested to me that many men have simply lost the plot when it comes to actually understanding the art of winning over the hearts and minds of the opposite gender. And not necessarily just in terms of finding a relationship.

When I was travelling back on a train one afternoon many weeks ago I heard a bloke sitting near me referring to his girlfriend as a "bird". Desperately repulsive if you ask me. Women are after all human beings and deserve much better. Today marks the day of the One Billion Rising campaign which is taking place all over the planet, outlining and emphasising the message that women are human beings and are deserving of equal respect and good treatment and nothing less.

But as far as romance is concerned, loving that very person who matters so much to you in your life is an art. Relationships are not just convenient commodities. Nor is Valentine's Day the only day in the year when you feel you have to make some sort of an effort to declare your uncompromising love to the love of your life. 

As for the men without that special someone, take note of Meghann's blog and learn the lessons carefully. Technology may be evolving but the value of chivalry remains undiminished.

And all I can say is to my fellow blokes who have that special someone in their own lives worldwide - don't just treat your lady well today. Treat her well everyday.

Because, after all, love is a 24 hours a day, 365 day a year effort.