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| Image courtesy of Salvatore Vuono / FreeDigitalPhotos.net |
But more specifically, in the context of interpersonal and romantic relationships, love's importance should never dare be underestimated. Last week I launched a potent defence of single people. I said that they were free of any blame and undeserving of any condemnation for simply finding themselves without a partner in their life. Some don't mind being single. Some love being single. But many really don't want to be single.
And sadly there are too many people who don't have that special someone in their life. And, in more worrying cases, this emptiness has not been conveniently inert. This emptiness can provoke a vicious cycle of ill feelings, anger, resentment, frustration - deeply negative feelings which can be so contagious that they cause damage in other aspects of a single person's life. Those negative feelings can even lead to damaging consequences like poor health and impaired career prospects.
Yet I refuse to accept the idea that single people are miserable human beings. Nothing can be further from the truth. Some single people are, yes, feeling disappointed that they haven't got someone to share their life with. But the negative feelings that can be caused by being alone and not in love are more than beatable.
Last week I had some very interesting discussions in the aftermath of last week's Romantic Wednesday article, about being single. Those discussions inspired me to write this particular article this week because, frankly, there are too many good people who are deserving of an amazing lover and too many sad feelings out there. And to turn a blind eye to this is bad enough. But its even more bizarre and offensive when others think that the single person is worthy of being blamed and at fault for finding themselves in the situation that they are in. How fallacious.
Yet sadly this ignorance that can be sensed and demoralise a single person. But that's not to say that I'm advocating a position of self-pity. I totally think that is the wrong route to go down. You have to get on with your life to the fullest and best of your ability, regardless of whether you are in love or not. But I can tell you that going home to an empty house at night can be a rather sad and bitter experience, at the best of times.
Which is why it is so important to live your life to the full and not worry too much about finding that special someone. The person will come. Maybe not tomorrow, but the person will come just at the right time. And full, genuine self-respect is key. If someone rejects you, its their loss. No matter what. You shouldn't anger yourself over it. Why should you feel its a vote of no confidence in yourself? You aren't the problem. Either the other person is looking for something else in their ideal partner or basically could be more a future problem for you rather than a solution in your own life.
You are the person people should like the most. You are the person who is unique. You are the person that special someone should be overwhelming themselves with excitement about. You are the person who your future partner should be celebrating every moment of everyday. If they cannot fulfil this, then they are worthy of none of your valuable life.
A relationship must flourish without any compromises. I want to spell out what love isn't and is, to every one of you. Without fear nor favour.
Love isn't just a matter of sole convenience. Love isn't walking in and grumbling like mad about the flickering light bulb in the living room. Love isn't meeting up and unleashing negativity. Love isn't about playing politics with your partner just for the sake of being awkward. Love isn't about being completely ignorant about the personality and desires of your partner. Love isn't about keeping your emotions in a safe box in the attic and thinking that you never need to utilise them.
Love is about walking through the door at night, having a natural broad smile telling your loved one how much you adore them every second of everyday. Love is about learning about your partner - what they are like personality wise, what their favourite make up or cologne is, what their favourite sports team is, what their favourite food is and what they love to watch on the media. Love is about laughing with your partner and being light hearted, playing games around the house and beyond and having lots of fun. Love is about being fundamentally honest, yet being diplomatic at the same time. In fact, to sum it up in four words:
Love is about passion.
Love is a union of two individuals, living the rest of their lives in happiness and joy. It is NOT something that is portrayed as a fantasy in blockbuster movies. It should always be reality.
And when it comes to being loved, you deserve it.
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